If Anxiety had a best friend, it would be Control.

I know because we’ve been the three musketeers for as long as I can remember: Anxiety, Control, and me.

They found me early. In kindergarten, my favorite uncle took his own life. That same year, my P.E. teacher murdered the mother of one of my classmates. At five years old, the world suddenly felt unsafe, unpredictable, and terrifying.

Looking back, I know Jesus was holding me through those years. But if I’m honest, the companions I remember most were Anxiety and Control.

I grew afraid and nervous. I chewed the insides of my cheeks until they bled. My thumbs bore the marks of bitten cuticles. My little hands tightened into white-knuckled fists, desperate to hold onto anything I could: my grades, my performance, my image.

And for a while, it worked.

In high school and college, I learned how to shine on the outside while my insides spun with fear. I was cheer captain, a Bible study leader, and prom queen. But behind the smile was deep pain. I attened a funeral every six months for nearly decade. Car accidents, suicides, cancer. Ten of my classmates gone before graduation, plus the loss of my young cousin, a mentor, my grandfather, my sorority sister, one of my teenage campers at Kanakuk… Every death confirmed my suspicion: the world is not safe.

My worldview became this: God is good, but He is not trustworthy. Perfection and control are trustworthy.

Anxiety and Control whispered that if I just worked harder, said yes more often, and stayed two steps ahead, maybe I’d finally feel safe. So I did. Straight A’s. Leadership roles. The “right” wardrobe. A polished smile.

But inside? I was unraveling. My mind raced with “what ifs.” My body broke down with week-long migraines. And one day in my early twenties, I found myself sitting in my car in an empty parking lot, hyperventilating, crying, whispering through tears: “God, please help me.” I was deeply depressed, hollowed out with fear, and completely at my breaking point.

That moment could have been so much worse, but it was enough to finally allow me to see something was very wrong. And, it was the first time I stopped pretending I could hold it all together.

And here’s what I discovered: God meets us in the unraveling.

Through counseling, meds, Scripture, and the kindness of community, I began to see what Anxiety and Control never let me believe:

• Control and approval are false gods. No amount of perfection can bring peace. (Galatians 5:22, Romans 15:13)
• It’s okay to say no. Rest is not weakness; it’s obedience. (Matthew 11:28)
• It’s okay to ask for help. My weakness is not the end of the story—it’s the place God’s strength shows up. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Friend, maybe you know those companions too. Maybe Anxiety and Control have been by your side so long, they almost feel familiar—even safe.

But let me remind you: they are terrible friends. They promise safety but deliver exhaustion. They promise peace but leave you empty.

And yet, there is a better Friend. A faithful Friend. One who whispers, “Cast all your anxiety on Me, because I care for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)

Anxiety and Control may show up uninvited. But, y’all, what a friend we have in Jesus! He is steady. He is trustworthy. And so kind He will never ask you hold it all together on your own. Jesus is the friend who sits with you in the chaos, carries what you can’t, and whispers peace when the noise feels too loud.

This is a complicated topic. When I was in the thick of my battle with anxiety (let’s be honest, it’s still not over), I felt defeated when others would toss trite advice my way. (You know the one-liners: “Let Jesus take the wheel.” “Just have faith.”) So, I want to be thoughtful about how I end here.

Maybe today the invitation isn’t to ‘fix it,’ but simply to lean toward Him. One small step. One whispered prayer. One deep, slow breath in His presence. He’s ready and able to guide you to freedom, even if it’s a long, slow journey. Jesus is the best friend we could ask for and He’s not going anywhere.

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Recently my friend Megan and I talked on her podcast, Faith Like Jasmine, about our experiences with anxiety and how we navigate motherhood when anxiety is a constant companion. I invite you to listen in HERE.