shadow

Is Insecurity Hindering You From Chasing Your Dreams?

Do you ever worry your dreams are too big or— dare it say it—unachievable? Have you ever tried hard at something that you knew you were meant to do, but failed?

 

For me, chasing my dreams feels a lot like Groundhogs Day.

 

Yes, that absurd American holiday where dudes with top hats watch a large rodent peek out of his burrow and scientifically determine the weather for the next six weeks. (Obviously, this all based on serious meteorology expertise.)

 

Before you abandon this page, let me explain…

 

When it comes to chasing my dreams, I usually start out with brave intentions of taking a big bold step outside my comfort zone. I take a big jump and with gusto launch myself right out into the wild unknown.

 

I’m expectant, ready for Success to bear hug me the second my feet hit the ground on the other side. But then, it’s eerily quiet. I sniff around, waiting patiently to watch my dreams unfold.

 

But then I see it. My shadow.

 

Suddenly I realize, how small I am and how far away I am from achieving my goal.

 

To my horror, it dawns on me that maybe I’m not supposed to be here at all. I’m vulnerable and naked in the bright sunshine, and everyone knows I’m a fraud—a wobbly-legged beginner.

 

With an equal amount of passion I scurry right back into my dark comfy hole, defeated and disappointed — just like our little furry friend Punxsutawney Phil. (Yes, that’s actually the name of the official Groundhog’s Day groundhog. Dear America, seriously?)

 

In all honesty this is how I feel about blogging lately.

 

I have dreams of being a real writer, of crafting sentences that connect others with God and help tell His story in a tangible way. To be transparent, there is a big part of me that believes this writing thing is my calling — maybe it’s the gift, the specific purpose God has given me to fulfill while I’m on this earth.

 

Maybe you know your calling too. Maybe its music or art or helping others as a doctor or a lawyer or a teacher. Maybe you too have dreams of having a huge impact for God or achieving something great in your field for His glory.

 

In an effort to pursue my calling, I signed up for a bloggers conference called Allume. In a few days I’ll fly to South Carolina, to a conference room full of 450 people I’ve never met before. Let’s just say this is seriously out of my comfort zone.

 

As the conference gets closer, I’ve started to notice my shadow growing bigger. Really it’s my insecurity — the voice inside that reminds me that my blog is small potatoes compared to the rest of these writers.

 

This shadow of insecurity is the thing that reminds me how very far it is I have to go to reach my dreams. It’s the thing that scares me back into my comfort zone over and over again.

 

Maybe your insecurities are pushing you back into your comfort zone too.

 

Maybe the gap between where you are and where you want to be is daunting. It sure is for me.

 

But here is the good news: On Groundhogs Day, when our little furry friend looks past his shadow and bravely stays out in the sun, there is jubilation.

 

It means spring is coming!

 

And when we push past our own insecurities, new life awaits us— whether that is huge success, great personal growth, or a new level of trust in God. For we can be confident, “that he who began a good work in us will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 1:6)

 

What if chasing after your dreams actually starts with hundreds of wobbly-legged baby steps.

 

The first step out of your comfort zone is a big one, yes. But the hundreds that come afterwards are just as important and sometimes equally as awkward. Keep stepping anyway.

 

Achieving our dreams is a process. It involves patience and practice and faithfully pursuing the Lord with every step.

 

But remember what God said to Joshua, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)

 

Are you allowing your shadow to rob you from spring? How can you move past your insecurities and trust God to walk with you step-by-step as you pursue your God-given dreams?

3 Comments

  1. Courtney

    I think your writing is inspirational and incredibly motivating! Everytime I see a link here on Facebook (I promise I’m not creeping – it’s on my news feed!) I click! And I’m always so glad I clicked! So thank you for continously sharing/being transparent!

    • Morgan Eseke

      Hey Courtney, Thank you so much for your kind words and for reading my blog! I’m incredibly humbled that God works through my crazy ramblings (even about groundhogs…!) to encourage friends I haven’t seen in years!! So great to hear from you!

  2. Great post, Morgan. Thanks for sharing your insecurities. I am with you 100% on the writing side. Looking forward to hearing your take-aways from Allume. I know it will be a great couple of days!

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